Fallen

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2.5.18 was a terrible day for me.
It felt like the day when I found out about the infidelity.
Confusion.
His outburst and the cursing were for no reason at all.
Me trying to do the right thing by walking away.
Apparently, bad idea.

Now, I’ve been called a lot of things.
Generally, I have thick skin.
As of lately, I break.

How could you look at your wife and tell her that you love her.
And then, with that same breath, tell her that you hate her?
You tell me that I don’t support you and that I make you feel small.
Yet, you stand there and berate me as if I’m your child, when in fact, I had done nothing wrong.
You tell me that you’re sick of hearing about the things I chose to talk about, yet you want me to listen to the things you like talking about.
You find it disrespectful that I don’t answer your questions, yet you taunt me when I tell you that I don’t like you cursing at me.
Everything is about…you.

Here I am in tears because I’m confused.
What have I done to make you hate me so much?
Never once have I not supported your endless dreams that you never really started, yet you called mine a “pipe dream.”
Almost every decision made for the family, I stood by your side, even when I didn’t agree with it; but the moment that I decision against you, you tell me that I’m being defiant.
There’s no winning in this.
You tell me that I don’t like being wrong, yet you never admit your faults.
Tit for a tat, you say.

I must’ve really fallen from Grace.
I’m at a place that I can’t go any lower.
And I’m alone.
My cries have reached deaf ears.
One day, they will be reading this or a poem of mine.
And it’ll be…too late.
And to him…he’ll be the death of me.

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