I scream at the World….

I scream at the world because I’m often misunderstood.
Like….countless of others.
It’s not a battle of who has it worst.
Because our storms differs.
Yours may be physical whereas mine is mental.

I scream at the world because….you see…grey clouds were created.
By those I had trusted. Those that I had once loved.
I took those grey clouds and formed lightning with my overthinking.
Thunder with my depression.
Which caused the very raging storm that lives within me.

I scream at the world because no matter how much I try to tame myself.
I erupt all over again.
I know that I control my emotions, but you see….empaths can’t do that.
Your moods or vibes affects mine.
I could be fine, but you come around and now I’m out of wack.

I scream at the world because I wear many faces.
So many, that I’m often confused of who I really am.
I want to get out, but I can’t break through those the mold of layers.
Layers that took years for me to build.
So, I just give up.

I scream at the world because I refuse to let you in.
You see a part of me that I’m willing to share.
But, there’s a part that I wouldn’t dare.
Not that its bad.
I just don’t trust you.

Like a sponge, I absorb all of your mannerism.
Even the ones that you try to hide.
Besides writing words on paper, I have a talent of seeing past your veil.
You see, life taught me that trick.
But, it also taught how to be rough, heartless, and that bish….

I scream at the world because I’m disconnected from your reality.
I don’t see things the way that you do.
It doesn’t mean that I’m empty.
Or that I’m right and you’re wrong.
It means that….I don’t care.
You haven’t given me a reason to.

They say, pretend or fake it.
Be less you.
Why?
Because they can’t handle it? Or don’t want to?
Then why should I put on a show for you?

I scream at the world….because I need to hear myself.
Over the pain that I can’t spit out.
Because nobody is listening.
And I won’t allow them to see me….weak.

So, I smile and laugh.

-e.r.lindsey

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